am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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