every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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