I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
