walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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