i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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