So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
