you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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