Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
