sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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