Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
