This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize