Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
