dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
