I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am naked and annoyed.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
