What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
