she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so let's talk penis.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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