At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
