oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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