Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
