i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize