what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
