he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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