so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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