): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
