Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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