people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Vodka?
Forever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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