Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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