If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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