I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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