Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
