my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
