You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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