Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
