He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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