Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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