I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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