these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize