she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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