She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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