he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
