i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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