She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
