What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
