Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
