ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
