Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
