I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
