Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize