i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
