You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
