At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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