Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
