So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
