She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
