I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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