I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
