the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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