On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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