Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
