trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
