Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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