I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
