ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
