haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
