It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize