I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
