wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
tell me about the eggs
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
